On happiness and Unhappiness

Why are we unhappy? Why is the other person happy? Does happiness depend on circumstances? If that be a rule, shouldn't everyone with better prospects than me be happier than me?

What makes me unhappy? Bad choices, Poor solution to dilemmas faced in life, wrong values.

Those who are happy have always had the right values? were always good at making choices? Had always had the right solution to their problems?

Didn't the wrong choice make them unhappy? I think, they did make mistakes but chose to forgive themselves and learn from their mistakes. They chose to let it go. They practiced the right thing until they became experts of it. They spent time, solving their problems.

I think happiness is a choice. A choice to be kind to oneself; positive about oneself; listen to oneself; taking care of oneself; loving oneself. This choice contains an inherent responsibility that we need to be kind to others. The logic being, if I am not kind to others, do I deserve kindness? And similarly, if I am kind to the other person, why won't he/she be kind to me? The only thing that could make him otherwise would be something not related to me i.e his personal issues. And in that case, as Gandhiji rightly put it, he needs help or "jaadu ki jhappi".

The world works on the principle that we get what we give. So, to get what you want, you need to give what you want to get.  If I hurt you, then won't you hurt me? If I am insincere to you then won't you be insincere to me? In the short run, it might not seem to work but in the long run, it does.

Is it me or him?

I feel a strong urge to blame someone and take the responsibility off my shoulder. But in doing so, I am ignoring the psychological fact that everyone is right in his/her perspective.

My colleague has been treating me dismissively. Whenever I ask my query, he says that he doesn't know. But now it has been proved beyond doubt that he does know. He has been lying to save himself the effort to teach me.

My fault is- I have not been sincere. My attention was misfocused. If I tried earnestly to understand the problem, I would have got the solution. If I had articulated my problem well, I would have got help. I wanted spoon - feeding.

Now, where should I direct my attention? Towards how he has wronged me or how I can set things right. Which thing will improve me?

It was me. My mistrust, negative responses etc. :P

On Hindi again

Dear Prime Minister,

Through this letter I want to share my problem with you as I think you can solve it. I am working in the finance dept of a PSU. Where I work, the people are not very well versed in Hindi.

Here, we have a “Hindi Cell” whose work is to increase the use of hindi in official works and gradually the whole work in offices be done in Hindi. We have to hold “Hindi Review meetings” in our office on monthly basis. The purpose of the meeting is to check the progress of usage of hindi in our department. Similarly, we have to send “quarterly reports on official language implementation” wherein no. of letters sent to various regions in Hindi is to be reported, no. of notings done in Hindi in different registers is to be reported etc. The people from “Hindi cell” take measures like nominating members for taking Hindi classes without the wishes of concerned person. They use the pretext of Official language Act, 1963, Official language Rules, 1976, President’s Order, 1960 to impose hindi. They send letters/minutes in Hindi without considering whether the recipient understands Hindi or not. It seems that lack of knowledge of Hindi is a crime.

So, this additional burden acts as deterrant in our work. I asked people here, what purpose is served by this additional burden. I am told that Hindi is our Official language and government policy is to promote Hindi. So, being part of a PSU, we need to follow it. I am from a Hindi speaking region still I find this policy of government very suffocating and backward.

It is true that hindi is the most widely spoken language in India. But English is preferred by all for official purposes. Even in Hindi speaking areas, business works are mostly done in English as it is the most convenient language. Also, English is a global language. All through my school life I have read quality books in English and now I am suddenly asked to do my work in Hindi because Hindi is the official language of the country. What purpose will it serve? While doing official correspondences, shouldn’t the intended recipient be in mind rather than promoting our official language?

I understand the reason behind this policy is to connect India. But will the forced imposition connect people? Has forced thing ever brought anything good in lives? In childhood we were forced to choose subjects which, our parents thought, were safe. What good it did? It created a generation of uninterested people who didn’t love their work. I guess, I am digressing from the point.

So, it is true that Hindi is the connecting language. Why so? Because of Bollywood. The beautiful songs there, are loved In North, South, East, West alike. Why not let it connect people rather than forcing them to adopt Hindi?

Through this letter I would like to request you to reconsider this policy. Hindi should be an enabling tool rather than something which creates problem in our works.

I find English more comfortable for working and so does the majority of working population. Shouldn’t democracy prevail in all aspects?

Aren’t there more pressing needs like saving environment, finding alternative to plastic, banning tobacco etc than promoting Hindi?

This forced Hindi imposition in my office is affecting my liberty, free will and creating negativity.

Please help.